Jack, Jr.
by Steve Orr
Renzy sometimes knew things. Like now, he knew his wife was, very soon, going to smoke another cigarette. Now that wasn't much of a knowing; almost anyone who spent time with her could have predicted it. Still, Renzy knew she was going to do it, and he knew that kind of knowing was different from the other.
More importantly, he knew things about his family. For instance, he knew that the story about his father marrying, sequentially, twin sisters, was not the truth. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth, either. He also knew that his brothers and sisters all thought it was the truth. What he didn't know, and wished he did, was why they all thought it was the truth. Why didn't they know the way he knew?
Across the table, Beryl reached out, snagged the pack of Kool's and shook one out. In a series of fluid motions, she placed the cigarette into her mouth, flicked open her lighter, lit it, snapped the lighter shut, and blew streams of blue-white smoke from her mouth and both nostrils. The amazing thing was how she could do that and still look elegant.
That was the only word he could think to describe Beryl Jeannette; elegant. And he knew he wasn't alone in his assessment of Beryl. This wasn't a knowing. This was from just observing. Her two sisters and three brothers were absolutely in awe of her. Of all of them, she was the one with the spark, the one who, they all agreed, was the greatest success. Renzy took issue with this, but never out loud. It seemed to him that Beryl's brother Wayne was doing better than any of them, financially. Wayne managed the local finance company and had plenty of business since the banks were so tight with their dough. And Beryl's sister Suzanne had married a Church of Christ preacher; how could you do better in the spiritual department?
Still, they all said it, and they all meant it. He knew they meant it, too. Really knew.
Knowing could be a bit of a problem. Renzy had learned, over the course of 35 years or so that he couldn't always depend on it. And if you couldn't always depend on something, how could you ever depend on it?
Oh, when he knew, he knew. It was just that, sometimes, he didn't know; couldn't seem to know. There were certain times, and certain people, that seemed resistant to his knowing. Renzy found that frustrating. Renzy spent a lot of time being frustrated.
It was one of his few real emotions. He knew that most people thought of him as "reserved", or "quiet", or even "taciturn." Really knew. No one ever thought "emotionless," though that would have been much closer to the truth. Every once in a while he would fake something, just to keep up appearances.
Still, when Renzy knew, he really knew. His daddy used to say he knew "like rocks were rocks and trees were trees." Of course, Renzy actually knew that rocks weren't always rocks and trees weren't always trees, but he agreed with what his daddy meant by it all the same.
Too bad his daddy was gone. Renzy would have liked to ask the old man about some things. Like what he could tell Renzy about his mother. And what he knew about Renzy's siblings. Renzy knew they were all related, but he also knew they weren't exactly siblings, not by most people's definition. And, of course, he would like to ask the old man about the big one.
Across the table, Beryl Jeanette pulled one last time on the cigarette, consumiing all but the menthol filter. She placed that in the ashtray and reached for the pack.
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Renzy had known about the dog, of course. He'd known about it over a week before Beryl Jeanette brought it home from the "Humane Society." He also knew that wasn't the truth. The mongrel was the runt of the litter, hand delivered to Beryl Jeanette by a coworker who lived on a small farm just outside of town. What he didn't know was why she felt the need to lie about a thing like that. Surely she knew -- even she must have been able to know -- that he wouldn't care about a thing like that. But he was sure she had her reasons. She always did. And, being Beryl Jeanette, she would eventually tell him and anyone else who would listen. Still, it bothered him a bit that he couldn't know why she did that. Really know.
Renzy knew, without understandig any of the facts, he knew that he and his "sibs" weren't completely human. Really knew.
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